I Am.....

I am NOT my soul's story.

I am NOT my peers opinion.

I am NOT my body's memory.

I am NOT my emaciated past. 

I am NOT my ego's perception.

I am NOT my anticipated future. 

I am NOT my emotional painbody.

I Am That;  I Am!!  (My Spirit....  Being)

Marriage.

For years I felt like a bit of a loser that had failed at two 'marriages.'  One 14 years, another 12 years. Not to mention many other short term 'relationships,' anything from one night stands, to three years. 

It finally occurred to me fifteen years ago that there was nobody to blame but myself.... I was the common denominator 

I was the only one present in EVERY relationship and 'marriage' I'd ever had. 

Now I also realize that every partner I had ever had, merely reflected my emotionally impoverished state of mind. 

Big highs, and big lows. 

So in fact, I had never, ever been married

A real marriage is two people coming together as one committed couple, to agree to do their best to stay together through good and bad. To grow together and make something worthwhile of their lives, then share that commitment with other family, friends, peers, workmates etc. 

In hindsight, I had never agreed to that. 

Although I had signed a legal, binding document between myself, wife and the government, I had absolutely zero intention to ever honor and carry out my role as protector, provider, husband and father. 

I was in 'it' for the good times. And with every bad time, another nail went into the coffin of 'marriage' for me. 

A tragic story, I know!!

But a childhood based around loss prepared me well to run away from what I perceived as trouble. 

On the positive side though, I look at myself now as starting afresh within my now 8 year relationship with my soul-mate Michelle. With NO failures in past relationships and two marriages. 

Only learning experiences. 

Every relationship I ever had was perfect, at that time to teach me, and hopefully my past partner, some valuable lesson. 

If I had it all over again, sure I'd do it differently. I would not have got into the relationship based on what I know today. 

People would not have got hurt, and I would not have had to pick my sorry ass up- suffering guilt for many past years. 

Hindsight and wisdom learnt from past events is a wonderful thing, isn't it!!!

                            Espavo. Sam

Moving On.

There comes a time in everyone's life when suddenly, abruptly;  

we find ourselves-   Alone!!!!

Because, we look around and 'see' that we are physically separated from others. 

But is this really true?

Are we actually separated from each other and our human sustenance?

Or does it merely 'appear' that way?

Personally,  I was 'separated' from my own Mother from the age of three.

And estranged from my Father at birth.

By the age of fifteen, I had lost thirteen of the closest people to me to mostly violent 'accidents' which created a life pattern of 'running away' from intimate relationship.

Actually sabotaging every personal, family, business and social relationship-

just in case I ultimately lost it anyway. 

Now in hindsight, and understanding the true nature of life and Oneness, I know that we are ALL CONNECTED spiritually- having a HUMAN EXPERIENCE together.

Our Oneness has our sustenance already provided from the original idea that we came into our 'individual' concept to experience, and consequently share- 

our unique talents;  one to another. 

What we 'ARE' is simply what we uniquely experience. 

There is NO LOSS, NO SEPARATION!!

OUR visual 'senses' actually lie to us when we believe we are a separate entity.

We are ONE entity-  having separate experiences. The ONE heart pumps through ALL veins of Human, Animal, Bird, Insect, Plant, etc. 

Every single Atom.......  Is ONE!!!!

If a plane from Australia heading to L A is one degree off course, it may well end up in Alaska. 

That is what has happened to the understanding of our 'Human' experience 

'They' taught us that we are SEPARATE Beings, alone, divided and consequently, easily managed, exploited and controlled.

And that ultimately......  We all die.

Take back Your Power.  Understand Your true nature. Nobody can EVER leave You.

Neither can You EVER leave anyone. 

We Are One in all Nature-  having a uniquely Divine experience. 

                             Espavo.  Sam 

Meeting TRUTH.

Meeting TRUTH and yourself from the heart. The 'ONE' Heart that lives thru all things; Life imagined from Creation.

The Life created;  continually unfolding. 

And lived thru the illusion of-substance 

The 'ONE' Heart; pumps thru All veins.

Omniscient Omnipotence Omnipresent 

Everytime,   Everything,     Everywhere. 

Oneness heals ALL & unites everything

Knowing THIS Truth...... 

leaves you with nothing to know!! 

Surrender-  The Power Of Humility!!! 

Somewhere between old ideas and the Truth is a place of Joy Peace Harmony-

I AM;  There Now With You.   Sam

Transition.

What I love most of all about my life, 

my primary relationship, my friends, my work and my many hobbies and interests Is.......

That I am completely Free within them.

I love that I Am here; but also everywhere 

In my past life I always felt trapped and desperately needed to escape......

Now I am merely transcending through eternity in an excitingly rapid expose' of Creation unfolding in all its Divine, Perfect Glory. 

Espavo.  Sam 

The Past.

The Past.......    It's ALWAYS;  over!!

The Future.....   It's NEVER really here!!!

Imagination.....  It's;  EVERYTHING!!! 

So, make it;  BIG, REAL & EXCITING!!!

Because it's 'ALL' that IS real!!!!

The rest, well it's really just illusion. 

But it's always whatever......

YOU want IT to BE!!! 

Espavo.  Sam